Unemployed and alone: Day 9

Oh man, guys. What a crazy time we’re living in right now! I’m excited to see the outcome of this pandemic.

With everything that’s going on, it’s been a struggle recently to write anything. Not because I don’t have ideas, but because I have too many ideas. I can’t stay focused to save my life. Maybe tomorrow I’ll retry that Adderall that my doc prescribed me a bit ago and see if I can accomplish anything. Maybe it’ll work this time.

I promise that I have a draft of my story of my manic episode, but then I keep getting distracted. By the time I get back around to it, I have a different idea of how I want to write it; so I just start over. We’ll get there eventually…

I just wanted to check in and say that I’m doing well out here during this pandemic. The impromptu closing day for the mountain was the 14th. Since I wasn’t back to my management job yet, and privileged and blessed to not be worried about my own finances, I’ve just be chillin’. That’s it. It was rough at first, but I think by the end of day three, I was starting to feel really good about it. This IG post by Michelle Akin is me right now.



I decided I’d try to sneak in a late Music Monday. I’m nervous about how vulnerable I’m about to be, but it’s whatever. The world as we once knew it is ending.

I can’t post the music video for it though because if I do, I WILL watch it and I WILL cry and I WILL get distracted and this post won’t happen. But I guess this song is pretty popular? I don’t know. I don’t listen to much current music. My brother posted it on FB on the 15th, and I saw it five days ago.

I will, however, post this video about the meaning and vibe of this song.



Obviously everyone that’s known me long enough knows why this hits me in the feels and who those feelings are about. In my new mindset, after watching that video, I knew I had to check in on him and turn off the ‘do not contact’ setting in our relationship. And regardless whether he reads this or not, he already knows all of this because drunk Nia ruined that last night and while I was day drunk earlier today. I’ve texted him both the music video and this video, sooooo that happened. I should obviously stick to just hanging out with nature.

It feels good to reconnect to someone I was once so close to. And, for some reason, I’m deciding to push my comfort zone by sharing this with the interwebz. So, here we go. Many more posts [hopefully] coming soon. Be well, everyone!


*As is typical of him, he just rolled over both videos like I didn’t even send them. I kind of hope he does read this and see that I’m calling him out in front of literally any and every one, and he knows that I always beat him.

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