Got a new tattoo yesterday from my awesome Australian friend, Ali, who lived here a few years back is in town for a visit. She does stick and poke tattoos. The timing of her visit couldn’t have been any better for what I wanted and received. It obviously ties back in to why I named this blog what I did. The ENTIRE reasoning and all the factors for the name will come in a later (and much longer) post.
There’s obviously a lot of meaning behind such a simply symbol and the location that I chose. I read somewhere once that depression is mostly just a worry about the past, and anxiety is a worry about the future. In their simplest forms, I believe this in true. Dealing with either of those tough issues is where the hard part is, whether it’s a simple mindset issue, a chemical imbalance in the brain, or just life doing life things (aka ‘who knows?’), one main thing I’ve realized and been working on focusing on during my personal journey with depression is just remembering that I am here. Not simply just in a location or stage in life, but also just in time. You can’t go back and change the past, and regardless what you do to control your future, life is going to hit you with whatever it feels like. Yes, planning for the future is good and sometimes very important, but no one has full control of any of it.
I really wanted to save this video for a Music Monday, but my fingers keep typing and my mind is telling me to bring it up now. I mostly want to post what his description is for the video because it heavily hits a reason why this is such a strong symbol/idea.
I remember the day I wrote this song, trying to describe it as one of those maps you see In the mall or at an airport that says YOU ARE HERE and kind of placing you into a certain part of the surroundings that can make sense… well this song is supposed to do that where ever you are and whoever you are.
Where ever you are, whoever you are, AND whenever you are. This is my friend Mike Abalos singing one of my favorite songs of his (let’s be real 90% of his originals are my favorite songs of his 😂) called “You Are Here”.
I know the depression game isn’t easy. By the end of my first session with my first therapist a few years back, she had diagnosed me with sever depression, and my homework was to make an appointment with a doctor that she recommended (who I still see and absolutely LOVE), and suggest that I get on antidepressants ASAP because she felt/knew that I was too far in to pull myself out without a little chemical help for my brain. Over the past few years, and ESPECIALLY over this last year, I’ve dedicated so much time and effort into training my mind to change my mindset, and I’m really stoked to say that I’ve been completely off my meds for probably about a month (was only taking them occasionally for the few months prior because I kept forgetting 😂) and I don’t think I’ve ever been in a better place in my life, emotionally. Not to say that life doesn’t continue to knock me down sometimes, but I’m getting pretty damn good at fighting back.
If I can do it, you can do it.